My story with Friends for Youth began in 2013. I’d always wanted to give back in some way and be a positive influence for someone else. As an only child, I thought being a “big brother” might be fun. When I found Friends for Youth, what stood out to me was the mentor training. It wasn’t just “go hang out with a kid.” It was about how to build trust, how to listen, and how to really connect.

After completing the training, I was matched with Joevanny, who had been waiting six months due to a shortage of male mentors. When I met them, I immediately felt the enormous weight of what Joevanny’s single mom was holding. She’s one of the toughest people I’ve ever met. They were in and out of shelters, but she always found a way to keep them above water and fought hard to get Joevanny into Friends for Youth’s 1-to-1 mentoring program.

From the start, Joevanny and I bonded over sports – we’re both big 49ers fans. We also loved cooking and grilling together. Steaks became our thing. It’s simple, but it’s ours. When we first met, Joevanny was struggling in school and often getting into trouble. I remember picking him up from the shelter and visiting his school to talk with his teachers. His mom would text me when she couldn’t make it, and I’d step in to help. Honestly, in those early days, I wasn’t sure he was going to make it through eighth grade, let alone high school. But I wanted to show up differently than other adults and other men in his life. I wanted to be there for him, not to lecture, but to listen.

I remember one day when he was talking about how teachers seemed to pick on him. We talked about why that might be happening, how perception works, and how to change it. You could almost see the lightbulb go on. It was those small moments that truly mattered; not the grand gestures, big speeches, just real, honest conversations. After our first year, we had our wrap-up session with Friends for Youth. We filled out forms about what we appreciated about each other, and when it was Joevanny’s turn, he said, “What I like most about my mentor is that he gets me.” That was it. Simple, but powerful. This has moved and still sticks with me to this day. It’s when I realized we had something much deeper than a volunteer experience, we had a real friendship.

“When my son was stressed, I would call Henry and ask if he could take Joevanny out. It’s been a blessing. ”

— Joevanny's Mom

More than ten years later, this friendship is still going strong. Joevanny graduated from Sequoia High — something that once felt far out of reach. He is now a father to a bright, spirited little girl and I couldn’t be prouder of the man he’s become. I met him when he was homeless; now he’s stable, thriving and a great dad. He’s part of my family too. My son, Austin, adores him and sees him like a big brother.

Friends for Youth made that possible. Their support taught me that mentoring isn’t about fixing a kid; it’s about getting them. It’s about showing up, week after week, and giving them a safe space to be themselves. Being a kid is hard and being a kid who qualifies for Friends for Youth is even harder. What this program does best is understand that. They get kids.

Looking back, I realize how much this experience shaped both of us. I thought I’d signed up for one year. Instead, I gained a lifelong friend, a bigger family, and a deeper understanding of what it means to truly make an impact.